What to do when You Feel Stagnant

A couple of tips that have helped me get through…

Have you ever felt like you have accomplished so much and then, after a period of time, felt that you had plateaued? What do you do in that situation? How do you fix something that has an unknown root cause?

A few years back, I was in that boat. My first year as a performance major was exhilarating and exciting and I felt like I learned so much in such a small amount of time. I had been cast in all of the shows, one of them being the most difficult and exhausting show I believe the school and students had ever produced. But after that show, everything seemed to come to a stand still.

Coming off of that show, I realized that it would probably be the most challenging show, both in language and character, that I would experience throughout my college career. I developed skills and discovered things about myself that I never knew. Knowing that, I went into my junior year with high hopes that I would be able to create characters and develop a complexity within them.

The first show that I was in that year was the children’s show. I had auditioned for the winter show, but because we had a guest director and she was incorrectly informed about our casting process, I was only cast in the children’s show.

Now the children’s show was meant for incoming freshmen and transfer students to get a feel for the department. They would go on tour to elementary schools in the surrounding counties and perform. Being a junior and coming off of the last show, I felt like it was a slap in the face to be cast…I had requested to not be in that specific show. The director was someone who I was very fond of, but was not challenging and did not give us much direction. It’s safe to say that I did not enjoy the experience at all.

I am not an arrogant person, but I felt that because I was used to doing more difficult shows, I was not in the right place. Now, I do not have a problem getting smaller roles; I have been in many shows where I was a smaller role and had an amazing time. But I was not being challenged. There was no depth and no real complexity to the characters. The best part about the show was that I was working with a group of people that I absolutely adored.

The experience really made me feel like I took six steps back. It wasn’t until later that year when I talked to the guest director of the next show that she wanted to cast me but thought she couldn’t because I was already cast in a show. However, I went on to be her assistant director and had the best time! That was the only time that year that I felt like my creativity really blossomed.

During this time, I was also in an “acting for the camera” class that was being taught by a highly respected professor who was/is a working actress. It was a difficult class, only because it was a learning experience for all of us, even the professor. She had never taught the class; the reason she was teaching it that semester was because the original professor ended up having to retire early, so there were challenges on both ends. But, the class was really informative and I learned a lot.

One day, I just could not remember my words and could not seem to do what was being requested of me. I almost completely broke down in class, which is unusual for me. I left feeling miserable and like I could never accomplish my goals as an actress. Later that week, my professor came up to me and asked what was wrong and I explained to her that I was having a rough time and I was not sure why. She said it was so unlike me to get down on myself and that everyone has bad days…we all have to be patient with ourselves, and she was right.

I wrestled with this a lot and eventually went to her again after a rehearsal for another show when nothing seemed to be going right; I was not working as hard as I would have liked to see myself work and I was not developing my craft like I had envisioned. She had been so encouraging and said that I needed to really decide if this is what I wanted. Without a doubt it is what I want, but for some reason, I had been so unmotivated.

After that year, I was linked up with an amazing vocal coach. Musical theatre is my niche and I think that the plays I was in required me to develop characters differently than I would in a musical. Since then, I have pushed myself and have grown immensely.

So, the million dollar question: What were the steps that I took to get to where I am now?

First: I wrestled with myself and tried to find the root cause.

This one was the toughest to deal with because it took me two years to figure out. All of this happened when I was in a relationship that was slowly going south as well as being roommates with a girl that I thought I knew very well but turned out to be toxic. I was not myself and I was more focused on my relationship than myself and my craft. I refused to believe that I was not in a good relationship. I was not focused on my school work or the audition process for the shows I wanted to be in. I was not in a healthy state of mind.

Once I found out that my mental health was a root cause for much of what I was feeling, I was able to get back on the right track. Because it was recently that I figured all of this out, it is still taking me time to get out of my slump. However, since I did, I have been able to reflect and see the areas where I need the most work. I have also accomplished a lot when it comes to wanting a career in acting: I was accepted into a widely renowned broadway residency program that will help me to jumpstart my career!

Second: I took my time.

At the time, I thought I was being so lazy. I thought that I was not working hard enough for my goals and was spending my time unwisely. Time management was not a priority.

There was such a stigma around mental health that made me too afraid to admit that I had been hurting for so long. One of my biggest problems that I have is that I am a people pleaser and have a difficult time saying “no.” During my rough state, I would fill my time with doing things for other people rather than focusing on my own priorities. Once I was able to admit it to myself, I took my time in figuring out where to go and what to do next.

They say that ‘time heals all wounds’ and in a sense, it does. Taking time for yourself to reflect and understand what you are going through makes it easier to move forward.

Third: I started meditating.

Within the last few months, I began to slowly incorporate meditation daily (give or take). How I meditate is I begin with reading a chapter or two from the Bible from whatever book my small group is studying and find a verse that I feel is relevant to what I am feeling that day. I then pray for a few minutes which leads me into my meditation. I focus on the verse for most of the meditation. This has helped me find me identity in Christ and grow my relationship with Him.

Once my ex and I broke up, it was hard for me to go to church because that was something that he and I would try to do. Without Christ, I was lost. I had dropped a crucial part of who I was. Because I did not turn to Him when I was in need, I started to lose myself, therefore, lose my grit, time management, creativity, and productivity.

Now that I am back on the right track with Christ, I feel more alive than ever and like nothing can stop me!

Finally: I continue to grow.

Even though quarantine has put a wrench in the gears, I am still pursuing my dreams. Being at home 24/7 has made it difficult, but I have found some amazing books and articles about growing in my craft and have started this blog. I am continuing my voice lessons online as well!

There is always an opportunity to grow…you just need to find the right tools to get you there!

I know that you have got this! Just keep going!