Personal Manifesto — Installment №2

Impossible year.

She was going to lose the weight. She was going to lose the burdens. She was going to fly.

It’s quicksand; she begins to sink into the unforgiving depths.

The Screams resonate between her ears.

The more she hears them, the more apathetic she becomes. Now a weekly occurance.

She isn’t a part of it, but somehow, she is the one who ends up getting drained.

Her routine starts to dwindle.

Her body clock no longer spins.

She grows weary as her eyes grow heavy.

Wanting to sleep — lethargy settles in —…

Personal Manifesto — Installment №1

I’ve never seen the sun so pink…

Well, maybe once — in California.

I start my music — and all at once, i knew nothing — only people who get it will get it.

With candles lit, I sit on my bed up against the wall. Peering across the open space that is my room; finally alone with my thoughts; taking in every word that is spinning in the air — letting them soak into my skin…feeling the small vibrations in my heart.

It’s times like these when I wish I had a vinyl player.

She looks skinny for once…

Your belly is sitting on your lap…


I have heard it plenty of times before. All of it.

I was never very happy with my body, even from a young age. I have also never been one to shy away from a giant bowl of home made mac n’ cheese (seriously, who would do that??).

I look back now at pictures from when I was in high school, the height of when I was a subject for body shaming, and I think “wow, I am 40 pounds heavier than I was in high school…

“I suppose it’s like the ticking crocodile, isn’t it? Time is chasing after all of us.”

People think that I am a very disorganized individual. That I hold off until the last minute to get things done. That I don’t take what I do seriously.

But really, they have no idea about the time and effort I put into my work.

It’s true, I do tend to thrive on my personal chaos. I always have. I love crazy and the ideas and inspirations that it brings me…it is my means of creativity. So why do people look at it like a negative even though I take what I do seriously?

Because people like firm structure. When…

Having trouble with your finances? We’ve all been there…

To be honest, I have never really been all that great with my personal finances. When I was young, I loved the thrill of receiving a couple of bucks to go and spend wherever and however I wanted. There was nothing like it! Even today, shopping is something I love to do, especially online: you can browse for hours, you do not have to interact with anyone, and there is so much more out there than you are able to see in the stores!

But, I realized something recently; I can…

Shedding light on a few things that I have learned along the way

Contrary to popular belief, being an actor is a difficult job.

You are constantly having to make yourself vulnerable, learn new skills, and process certain emotions that you have never had the experience of feeling. But that is what makes it all worth it!

From my experience as an actor, I learned a lot about the the craft; how I worked, the most important things that I need to convey as an actor, and finding the truth in imaginary circumstances.

Not only did I learn about the…

Everyone needs a mental and physical reset at the start of each week. The perfect way to do so is taking advantage of the wonderful things you can do on your days off to de-stress and get ready for the days ahead of you! Here are some tips to help you have a stress-free day off!

Tip #1: Get 80% of household chores done before your day off. Many people use their days off to take care of things around the house that they can’t accomplish during the week. This is not a bad thing, but the busier your mind…

If you catch yourself in laziness during this time, do not be discouraged. It’s normal to experience something like this, especially now in a time where anxiety and stress are rapidly increasing and fear of the unknown is a constant. However, you need to be cautious when it comes to how long you choose to sit in your laziness. I have caught myself several times sitting and doing nothing when I could be proactive in my current job and for my future career. What matters during this time is how you choose to approach your season of laziness.

I always…

“All tedious research is worth one inspired moment.” — Uta Hagen

Given Circumstances is a term from the teachings of Uta Hagen, a well known actress and theatre practitioner. Any actor who has had any kind of training knows exactly who I am talking about (if you don’t, that’s okay…but you should definitely look her up and read some of her material!) It explains the method in which actors should use to understand their character, where they are in the circumstances of the world of the play, and who they are going to become by the end of the play.

A couple of tips that have helped me get through…

Have you ever felt like you have accomplished so much and then, after a period of time, felt that you had plateaued? What do you do in that situation? How do you fix something that has an unknown root cause?

A few years back, I was in that boat. My first year as a performance major was exhilarating and exciting and I felt like I learned so much in such a small amount of time. I had been cast in all of the shows, one of them being the most…

Ashley Brouwer

| Actor | Singer | Writer | Spreading Positivity & Optimism |

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